Coffee + Music + Laptop = Perfect Tuesday Afternoon

Okay so I am sitting in Barnes and Nobles writing this. It took FOREVER to find an open outlet to plug in my computer. Matt dropped me off here to do my homework and to do my computer stuff because the silly boy has no Wi-Fi at his apartment. I like B&N. I am trying to avoided buying any books. I love to read and being in a bookstore and trying not to buy anything is like a PMSing fat chick in a chocolate store. Damn near impossible not to buy anything. I kept reminding myself that I have to keep my money for tomorrow night in case I have my birthday party. I am debating on canceling it due to the weather. Like I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I wanted to go to Frankie's to play putt-putt, do the racetrack, and play in the batting cages. Well its kind of hard to do that stuff when its raining and there is an 80% chance of rain... But I did decide that if I do cancel it then I am going to go get a tattoo. Not sure what kind of tattoo but probably something to do with a star or something like that. I don't have one yet but I have always wanted to one.

Speaking of tattoos. Matt gave me an idea for a tattoo for me to get when I convert over to Judaism (I'm converting after we get engaged). We were joking that I should get a tattoo that is a K in a triangle to show that I am kosher now. It would put where no one but he could see. I don't need people asking what it means. LOL It will be our little joke.

Yesterday was an interesting day. I had my first day of class for Sterile Processing. I got to school at 8:15am only to find out that class doesn't start until 9am. It was a typo on my schedule that was fixed on everyone else's. So I wait around til class starts. The dread Ms. Walker walks in and asks if we had our books (which no one of us did because the bookstore didn't have them). She then spends the next 1.5 hours trying to find out why we don't have our books. She comes back and we begin class with xeroxed copies of her book. We get through 4 chapters in an hour. Then she lets us go on break for 1 hour telling us to be back 12:30pm. I met Matt for a yummy breakfast at Panera's. I love their Cinnamon Crunch bagels with the honey walnut spread. After lunch, I walk back into the classroom and all the girls in there tell me to look at the board. Ms. Walker had written that she decided that she won't be returning until 1pm... Seriously??? So for the third time that day I sit at my desk and twiddle my thumbs (okay really I was reading but whatevs). She comes in at 1:05 and quickly shows us the 20 instruments we need to memorize for our finally and dismisses us at 1:12pm... I hope the next 3 classes are a little more worth the money I am paying. LOL

After class I went to Matt's. I love that he lives like half a mile from my school. We watched Monk for a bit before I passed out (as usual). Matt treated me to Little Caesar's pizza and bread sticks. Yes they were just as yummy as when I was child.

After dinner we headed over to Bralie's in Durham so Matt could get drunk and sing karaoke. I love listening to Matt sing. We are going to Kildaire's tonight for more karaoke after we go see Jaws at the Varsity. I love our date nights.

Well, I guess I need to actually get on with my homework so that I can get back to Matt's in time to get ready for our date.

Namaste my friends.

Love,
Kelly Star

Sweet Sundays :)

Today was a great day. From start to finish.

This morning Riley woke up about 5:30am but came down stairs to go back to sleep. I think she is still adjusting from her mom being gone at night. She slept for a bit before deciding she wanted to watch one of her Barbie movies in bed (her little nest of pillows and blankets on the couch). Of course 5 mins into the movie, she is asleep again. I continued watching Barbie's Swan Lake. OMG the characters in that movie are so freaky looking. The little kids all look like Chucky dolls. Riley got up in just enough time to start playing with her blocks before Megan came home.


After work I went over to Matt's to catch up on some sleep. We ended up crashing out for about 5 hours. We have never slept that late before. It felt great. I always sleep the best when I am with Matt. Its not even that we snuggle or what while we sleep. Its more that he is there and I know he will be there when I wake up.

Okay I am not the type of person to go into detail about my sex life or anything like that because I think the really intimate stuff should stay behind closed doors. But I do want to say one quick thing. I have been with a few people in my life. Matt, by far is the most amazing lover I have EVER had. I don't know if it has something to do with the connection we share emotionally or if its his technique but WOW. Seriously. If I didn't love him like I really do, I would seriously stay with him just for the sex. Thank god though that there is more to him than great sex.

After Matt's I went to my sister's job. We use to work for the same guy but I got out of that a few weeks ago. Duru is sleazy business man that has a shop on Franklin St that sells over priced dresses and scarves. He also has a kiosk at Southpoint Mall that sells crappy sheets that tear or are packaged not even finished. He doesn't mind using people's stolen credit cards because he will still get paid if it stolen. He never gave me a schedule. Instead he would wait til the day before or the day of to tell me to work. He hated that I wasn't such a docile little girl and that I would point out when he was doing something wrong and shady. He constintly tired to have me work for cheaper wages and would tell me it was my fault for his other kiosk having to close because I was too expensive (I was making $8/ hour). Not my fault he was trying to sell $10 tshirts for $50 or winter gear in 90 degree weather at full price.

Any who, I went to let my sister go get a break. Oh yeah that was the other thing. He would schedule us to work with no break. Neither the shop nor the kiosk has a bathroom. Sometime he would schedule us to work 11 hour shifts. On Sundays, my sis has to work for 7 hours. I usually go around 3pm to let her go get coffee, food, and to have a pee and smoke break.

When I got home later, I helped my parents with some gardening. We planted some tomato plants and herbs. The front yard is starting to look good. We just need to fix the lawn mower so that you can actually see it. We ended up grilling out for dinner. We made yummy steaks and sweet potatoes. Mom made a lemon cake for dessert.


So I did get some sad news today. One of my really good friends from high school  that I have been sort of reconnecting with this year is going through some really tough shit. She was diagnosed with cancer over a year ago. Just before she got married to her husband, Robbi. Mary has been going to UNC to get treatment. Earlier this year they said they couldn't help her anymore so they referred her to Sloan Kettering in NYC for more help. Robbi announced yesterday that SK can't help her at all. Today he said that they are bringing Mary to her parents' house for hospice. I can't imagine how that must feel to know your wife may die before your second anniversary. I am really trying to block my feelings right now. I don't want to break down now. I'm scared to see her because I honestly don't know if I am strong enough for her. Keep Mary in your thoughts please.

Namaste my friends.

Love,
Kelly Star

I thought Saturdays were suppose to be fun days....

Last night I went out with Selvi and Matt to Talulla's for a few drinks. It was a lot of fun. Talulla's is a Turkish restaurant that turns into a dance club about 11pm. I love going there because they usually play world beats instead of the same top 40 that I hear on the radio. Tonight I introduced Selvi to joys of Patron and we both had the most delicious chocolate martinis ever. Matt had a yummy White Russian that I was more than happy to steal sips from. Matt was a total sweetie and bought my drinks.  (Thanks again, Matt!) I really had fun. I even did some dancing by the bar. By dancing I mean I dance like a white girl with no rhythm. But it was fun none the less.

I did try to help Selvi find a guy since her high school crush wasn't responding to my text messages. We obviously have different tastes. She like the BIG muscles, washboard abs, and very macho guys. I prefer the slightly nerdier version. I like some muscles, shaggy-ish hair, and more down to earth guys. I really don't like guys with washboard abs. I mean yeah they are nice to look at but I prefer someone more cuddly. Like Matt. :)

I decided that I would sleep in since I didn't go to bed until about 4:30am. I meant to spend the day catching up on chores I have been neglecting due to my busy schedule. Mainly I meant to catch up on laundry. Every time I went to go put a load in, my mom would have just put a load in. No matter how many times I told her I REALLY needed to do laundry before work. I didn't get my clothes in until 3:30ish. Meaning I only got a chance to do one load before work. Oh well there is always tomorrow.

I did manage to hit the gas station today for gas and a lotto ticket for my mom. I got carded again. I am 26 (27 next week) and I have gotten carded twice now by the same guy this month for a lotto ticket. I managed to also hit Subway for a sandwich for work since all my boss has at her house are Lean Cuisines and Kid Cuisines.

Riley was sort of fed today when I got to work and already bathed and in her pjs. While Megan was here, she was sweet and cute but as soon Megan left, I swear turned into a teenager. All she wanted to do was play in mommy's make up and jump from whatever high furniture she can climb while I clean up her mess. I know... I know I should have made her clean up her own mess but every time I told her to clean it up, she would yell " NO THANK YOU!!!". Thirty minutes of that and I just did it myself.  I did manage to get her into bed without to much argument but I did hear her playing in her room for about an hour afterwords.

I started reading a new book tonight "The First Wives Club". Its pretty good. I keep sending Matt text messages to translate whatever random Hebrew/ Yiddish word Brenda says in the book. Its a slow read but pretty good I guess. I am just reading it until my birthday next Sunday. I am hoping my parents give me the nook from Barnes and Nobles. I plan on filling it with my favorite books: all of Nicholas Sparks' books (except for The Last Song because I absolutely hated the ending), Memoirs of a Geisha, White Oleander, and the Harry Potter books (yes I love those books).

I called my parents to tell them about the NYM/ STL baseball game going into extra innings. I have never seen a game go that long before. It was pretty cool. Well, while talking to my parents, my mom started talking about my little cousins graduation next year. Looks like we will be graduating at the same time. I kindly reminded my mother that I will walking this year too. She told me that this year doesn't count because I will just be getting a certificate and nothing important. She and my father aren't planning to come to my graduation this year and she told me not to bring it up any more because its an embarrassment to the family.

They are still pissed over my practicum. I was doing really well in my Surgical Technology courses last quarter up until my practicum. It was at the end of the quarter and consisted of three parts:
1) name 50 instruments in 9 mins. (nailed it)
2) show open gloving (nailed that too)
3) completely set up an OR in less than 20 mins (..... I hate Ms. Clark....)

Okay like I said I nailed the first two parts. The third I was doing really well with. I had opened everything the right way, did my surgical scrub in the perfect amount of time, then I went to glove and gown. The gown went on fine except I had a lot of cuff hanging off (which is normal for me because I usually fix it after I get my gloves on). I manage to get my gloves and started to pull the cuffs down my arm by grabbing the sleeve of the gown. Instead of moving the cuffs like every time I had practiced, my sleeve tears! I mean a foot long tear down my entire arm. So I ask for Ms. Clark (our assistant teacher) who playing the role of my circulator nurse. I figured since she waited to finish her conversation with Miss Walker (another assistant teacher) about Miss Walker's upcoming wedding that Mr. Gibbons (the actual teacher) had stop the clock timing me. Ms. Clark brought a gown for me and then realized that she brought the wrong size and causally walked back into the back room for another gown. Then she helped me remove my gloves. Popping one in the process. So then she had to go get another set of gloves while I had to wait because she didn't open the gown's packaging (I couldn't touch it because I was sterile and the packaging isn't). After she came back, I continued to gown and glove myself and continue setting up. After I was all done, I felt good about my set up. Then Mr. Gibbons told me that I went over by 1 minute 16 seconds. I asked what slowed me down. He said it was when I ripped my gown. I asked if he stopped my time when that happened. He said no because time doesn't stop in the OR when I screw up... Because I failed to meet the 20 minute time limit, I couldn't continue on to the next set of classes. Instead now I am in the Sterile Processing for this quarter. This means that I can earn my credits to get certified in it and actually walk this July. My school said that I can come back in July to restart my Surgical Technology classes.

Personally I think that this is a good thing. This makes my resume look better when I get done next year. Not only will I have my Associate's in Surgical Technology but I will also be certified to to re-sterilize anything in the OR that may need to be sterilized for whatever reason unlike some of my classmates. Hopefully this will end up giving me a bit of an edge. Plus I can try to go ahead and get into a hospital job this summer and finally get a decent paying job with benefits. I have tried to tell my parents this but they still see me as just a failure... They blame me for it. God, they yelled at me for ever and actually grounded me for a few days because they thought I wasn't trying hard enough to pass. I love my parents but they seem to only see the bad things in me and what I do... Oh well. Maybe one day I will do something right in their eyes.

Right now I am watching 'Under The Tuscan Sun' and waiting for Matt to leave work. He said he would stop by for a quick kiss before heading home. I hope he comes soon. It is late and I am getting sleepy. I bet Riley will be up early tomorrow morning...

I am debating on whether I should set up a Facebook announcement about my birthday party. I really wanted to go out and do something fun for my birthday. The past few years I have only celebrated it with my family. Now I actually friends that may want to go out (at least I hope they want to go out... lol). I want to go to Frankie's to play putt-putt and ride the racetrack and play some of the arcade games. Most of the friends I wish to invite are really Matt's friends and do like hanging out with them. I just feel weird planning my own birthday party because my mom always said that it is selfish to do so because people will think you are just doing it for the presents. While I really don't want anyone other than my parents to get me something I am afraid that they will think the same thing. I kind of wish that someone else would set this up. But no one seems to want to set it up. I wish someone would read this and tell me if I should just send out the event page or not... Is it breaking rules of etiquette to throw your own birthday party? And by the way before y'all ask, I am planning on paying for the putt-putt and the racetrack stuff for the party. If they want to do arcade games then they will have to pay for that by themselves. I'll let you know how everything turns out next week. I am having my party on Wednesday night since that is a night that Matt and I don't have to work and I really want him to be there.

Well, Matt just sent me a text saying he is on his way so I am going to wrap this up.

Namaste my friends.

Love,
Kelly Star